Interview: Percy Piss Wizard

I really don’t know what to say – if you’re looking for any contenders for album of the year – look no further. The gnarliest label out there, Nasty Wizard Recordings (which yes, full disclaimer, I’m affiliated with) has just dropped their first cat-fronted release, from the demented feline mind of Percy Piss Wizard, a four-month-old kitten. It’s the first of a series of ‘Better Than A Glory Hole’ (shame is something we lack over at the Wiz) – a limited edition cassette tape release we plan to unleash once a month that’ll feature up and coming artists from around the world with uncompromising tastes in music.

To celebrate the release, I sat down with the adorable little fella over a saucer of milk (and a little catnip on the side) to get the full story. Seriously guys – a frigging cat.

Meow’s it going?

 

Go fuck yourself. That\’s racist. I don\’t want to hear anymore of that nonsense.

 

Tell readers a little bit about yourself?

 

I am a cat. My name is Percy Piss Wizard. I am only 4 months old who happens to be the cutest thing you will ever see. Not surprisingly, I have the Album of the Year already. I realize for humans it seems silly to have people saying that it is the Album of the Year in June, but it makes perfect sense to me because one of my years is shorter than one of your months.

 

Cats are simple creatures with simple desires? Heck, all my cat needs is food a warm bed? Yet, it’s clear you strive for more? Why so?

 

You have a cat? I don\’t see or smell your cat. I feel like this is a trick question. I don\’t think you know much about a cat\’s desires.

 

How exactly did you get in the music business? It’s not often you see a feline pursuing this sort of career?

 

Someone offered me some catnip and a group of queens and I got hooked on the music biz. I am the feline equivalent of Justin Beiber.

 

I don’t wanna make assumptions here, but from my understanding, cats don’t have fingers, which I would imagine would make it difficult in your line of work? How do you get? I could imagine turning  knobs, mixing, and whatnot coming easy.

 

This is one of those problems that has been bothering me for days. It\’s a bitch to tell the truth. To work a guitar pedal, I have to jump up and down on it many times before it clicks on. To play the keyboard, I can only use one paw at a time. This was brilliantly demonstrated by my brother, The Keyboard Cat. To turn knobs, I have to use my mouth which makes it difficult to see and takes much time.

 

Is there a music scene for cats out there? Where do you perform? Does it have the same pesky problems our human music scene has – ticket fees, musicians with inflated egos; disgruntled doormen at the venues; groupies? These are things us humans are dying to know.

 

We have rap and singing competitions all the time. I\’m surprised you haven\’t heard us on the street. The most beautiful sound you will ever hear is a cat singing at the top of his or her lungs at 3am. I used to take part in these competitions and then I moved on to bigger ambitions. And of course I got the groupies. Look at me. I\’m adorable.

 

What’s your ‘go to’ album for unwinding after a long day of recording?

 

Eye of the Tiger by Survivor

 

What influences your music?

 

Most the Backstreet Boys and New Kids On The Block. Plus all the mice I eat and all my mollies.

 

How did you team up with Nasty Wizard Recordings? Modern Sky wasn’t available? 

 

My name is Percy Piss Wizard, not Percy Piss Sky. Sometimes the stars and names align to make a perfect match.

 

What was the recording process like?

 

One mustn\’t kitty kiss and tell.

 

Any immediate plans for your future?

 

Now that I\’ve conquered the feline and human domains of music, this is something that I have been thinking about. After watching a documentary called \’The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy\’, I have realized there are two other animals that are smarter than people. They just happen to be mice and dolphins. Mice are delicious and a little bit of dolphin makes that tuna extra yummy, so this is going to be easy.

 

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Well, there you have it – from the cat’s mouth. Check out ‘Better Than A Glory Hole Vol. 1’ over at Nasty Wizard Recordings and find a limited copy of the cassette at any Live Beijing Music affiliated shows (like next week\’s Gulou Double Decker)  stay tuned for a heck ton more releases from the mischievous label heads. Wiz Biz!!!